


like m8, stop procrastinating

by softiechannie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bad Puns, Fluff, Group chat, Humor, Kinda Crack, M/M, Texting, idk i mostly started writing this as an excuse to make australian jokes n references, idk we'll see what happens, like as an australia it is my Duty, maybe angst ??, shitpost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-04-16 06:09:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14158482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softiechannie/pseuds/softiechannie
Summary: bang chan has never regretted anything as much as he has regretted making this chat.





	1. the regret begins

**Author's Note:**

> usernames:
> 
> chan: australia  
> woojin: mother woojin  
> changbin: emo fuck  
> minho: miNOOOHHHH  
> hyunjin: jinnie  
> jisung: i am NOT from nct  
> felix: australia 2 electric boogaloo  
> seungmin: shawn mendes whomst  
> jeongin: the baby

_\---------------------------------------------------------_

_[2:43pm]_

 

**_[australia has added mother woojin, emo fuck, miNOOOHHHH, jinnie, i  am NOT from nct, australia 2 electric boogaloo, shawn mendes whomst and the baby to the chat]_ **

 

**_[australia has named the chat the boyes]_ **

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** dad why

 

 **australia:** hush child

 

 **mother woojin:** chan don’t spell boys like that

 

 **australia:** huSH CHILD

 

 **mother woojin:** i am Older Than You

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** wHo DiD tHiS

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** he has said three (3) words and im already bouta kick his ass from this chat

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** Wow, Jisung, I am truly hurt.

 

 **jinnie:** dont

 

 **jinnie:** dont do that

 

**_[emo fuck has named the chat lost children]_ **

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** changbin dont make me kick you out of this chat, this room, this company, my contacts and my heart

 

 **emo fuck:** i

 

 **emo fuck:** i just wanted to make a joke guys

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yeah fellas ease up on poor changbin hes doing his best

 

 **emo fuck:** thanks bro

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** ur welcome bro

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** ,,,,,,,,,,,

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** “fellas”

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** its better than the alternative

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** i shuddered even thinking about it

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** wow i cant believe im being attacked by my own band mates

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i thought we were mates, mate

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** see it could be so much worse

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** like what he just said

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** wait is this the bullying felix club

 

 **the baby:** i think so

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** stop it ✋!! i dont like it!!!

 

 **jinnie:** what

 

 **australia:** what are you gonna break out next felix

 

 **australia:** no hat no play

 

 **australia:** slip slop slap

 

 **emo fuck:** id make a joke about that but im sitting next to woojin and i dont want to get hit

 

 **mother woojin:** good choice

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** watch out changbin you might get

 

 **australia:** don't even

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** slip slop slapPED

 

 **australia:** feLIX DONT USE YOUR AUSTRALIA POWERS FOR EVIL

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO, CHRISTOPHER

 

 **jinnie:** dont call him that

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo** : YOURE NOT MY MOM

 

 **australia** : no

 

 **australia** : dont spell it like that

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** u rite

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i feel,,,,

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** wrong

 

 **australia:** you should, felix, you should

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i,, im sorry mate

 

 **australia:** its okay mate

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** mate

 

 **australia:** mate

 

 **emo fuck:** maybe mate will be our always

 

**[miNOOOHHHH has removed emo fuck from the chat]**

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** frick you changbin

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** i cried like a bitch at that movie

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** you okay there minho

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** no

 

**[mother woojin has added emo fuck to the chat]**

 

 **emo fuck:** hey minho

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** no

 

 **emo fuck:** i guess you could say

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** dont

 

 **emo fuck:** i am NOT okay

 

 **emo fuck:** whAT THE SHIT HOW DID HE RUN THAT FAST

 

 **mother woojin:** can someone make the children stop fighting

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yeah nah

 

 **mother woojin:** chan, please

 

 **australia:** nah im filming this lmao

  
  
_\---------------------------------------------------------_

_[3:12pm]_

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** oi chris wanna go on a maccas fun

 

 **australia:** yeah nah maybe later

 

 **emo fuck:** wow chris just go on a maccas run

 

 **australia:** don't say that

 

 **australia** it's not allowed

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** only australians can say that

 

 **the baby:** why is the felix the only one who calls chan chris

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** hush child

 

 **the baby:** youre like a year older than me

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** h u s h  c h i l d

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** anyway uhh okay buddypalmaterino just lemme know when youre free

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** “buddypalmaterino”

 

 **australia:** will do mate

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** alright mate

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** what was that

 

 **mother woojin:** just ignore them child

 

 **australia:** no one can ignore felix

 

 **australia:** i cant even ignore felix

 

 **australia:** no matter how hard i try

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** OI

 

 **australia:** jk felix

 

 **australia:** ily mate

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** ilyt mate

 

 **emo fuck:** oooooo felix just got matezoned

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** changbin stop

 

 **emo fuck:** wow minho i thought you loved me

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** so thats our first rumour?

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** ooooOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **mother woojin:** normally i would try and stop this violence

 

 **mother woojin:** but that was fucking great


	2. i am NOT okay with this fuckery

\------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ [2:13am] _

  
  


**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** hey guys

 

**i am NOT from nct:** dont

 

**i am NOT from nct:** its Early

 

**australia:** felix why arent you in bed

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** on the contrary, i am in bed

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** however, i am not asleep

 

**australia:** i think you mean: i am NOT asleep

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** can whoevers closest to chan please kick him or something

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i would get up and go do that but im Cold As Heck

 

**emo fuck:** gosh diddly darn it you australia go the heck to sleep

 

**jinnie:** did

 

**jinnie:** did seo changbin just say what i think he said

 

**emo fuck:** yeah??

 

**emo fuck:** is that bad??

 

**[australia 2 electric boogaloo has left the chat]**

  
  


**shawn mendes whomst:** no one add him back

  
  


**[australia has added australia 2 electric boogaloo to the chat]**

  
  


**jinnie:** now why would you do that

 

**australia:** we gotta look out for each other

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yeah were mates

 

**australia:** ily mate

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** ilyt mate

 

**the baby:** can yall get married already 

 

**mother woojin:** greAT NOW YOUVE WOKEN THE CHILD FELIX

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** I !! DIDNT !! MEAN !! TO !!

 

**the baby:** actually i woke up when i heard jisung muttering to himself about “stupid dumbass felix, i hate him”

 

**australia:** oI JISUNG YOU WANNA FUCKIN GO ME

 

**i am NOT from nct:** no what

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** chris no fight

 

**australia:** hush felix

 

**australia:** anyway jiSUNG MEET ME OUTSIDE WOOLIES AT 6:59PM BECAUSE 7 OCLOCKS MY BEDTIME LETS FUCKING G O

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** chris no theres no woolies here

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** also dont fight jisung i guess

 

**australia:** fine then

 

**australia:** mEET ME OUTSIDE OF [insertnearestshop] AT 6:59PM BECAUSE 7 OCLOCKS MY BEDTIME

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** chRIS THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

 

**i am NOT from nct:** my dude, chan, cb97, bang chan, christopher bang, lets not fight, were bros

 

**mother woojin:** yeah guys its 2am

 

**mother woojin:** save the fighting for at least midday

 

**i am NOT from nct:** w o o j i n

 

**i am NOT from nct:** i thought you were r e s p o n s i b l e

 

**mother woojin:** i am, but this is entertaining

 

**the baby:** wait why the fuck is chan fighting jisung if he insulted felix

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yeah what the fuck

 

**australia:** YOU DONT INSULT AN AUSTRALIAN WITHOUT REPERCUSSIONS

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** unless it's like,,, pauline hanson or fuking dutton or something

 

**australia** they don't exist

 

**australia** they aren't true australians

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** fuck you're right mate

 

**the baby:** whomst the fuck

 

**australia:** auspol

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** auspol

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** changbin i swear to god if you make that joke again

 

**emo fuck:** i wASNT GOING TO

 

**jinnie:** guys

 

**jinnie:** please

 

**jinnie:** sleep

 

**australia:** nOT UNTIL I FIGHT JISUNG S Q U A R E  U P M A T E

 

**i am NOT from nct:** OH MY G O D CHAN

  
  


\------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ [10:23am] _

  
  


**mother woojin:** i

 

**mother woojin:** i walk into the living room

 

**mother woojin:** and then i see them, yelling

 

**jinnie:** oh no

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** im very scared rn

 

**australia:** oNE THREE DOUBLE OHHH

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** SIX TRIPLE FIIIIIIIIIVE

 

**australia:** OH

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** SIX

 

**jinnie:** can someone stop them

 

**australia:** but hyunjin

 

**australia:** itllchangeyourlife™ 

 

**jinnie:** i hate this family

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** im hurt, hyunjin

 

**jinnie:** *i hate this family except for seungmin

 

**the baby:** whipped

 

**jinnie:** shush jeongin

 

**mother woojin:** hey dont bully jeongin hes like 2

 

**the baby:** actually im only a few months younger than most of the maknae line

 

**mother woojin:** and now youre one

 

**australia:** hey felix

 

**emo fuck:** oh no

 

**australia:** have you ever

 

**australia:** ever felt like this

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** whEN STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** ARE YOU GOING

 

**australia:** R O U N D  T H E T W I S T

 

**emo fuck:** dont involve me in your australian cult

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** hey chris remember that part in the show where that teenage boy gave birth to a tree baby by burping it up

 

**australia:** ah yes, Classic Aussie Childrens Programming™ 

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** hEY HOW ABOUT WE GO OUT FOR BREAKFAST SO WE STOP TALKING ABOUT /THAT/

  
  
  


\------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ [12:02pm] _

  
  


**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yo chris

 

**australia:** heyo felix !

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** hey m8 wanna d8

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** but like no homo tho

 

**australia:** not if you type like that

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** sorry let me try again

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** Hello, my good friend Christopher. Would you, perhaps, like to join me in an outing in a non-homosexual way?

 

**i am NOT from nct:** maKE IT STOP

 

**australia:** CONTROL Z CONTROL Z CONTROL Z

 

**australia:** also i cant tell if youre being serious or not

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yeah haha im joking hahaha

 

**australia:** ,,,

 

**australia:** okay then

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** anyway im going to go sleep for a bit see ya

 

**australia:** sleep well !!

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** thanks 

 

**australia:** that was,,,,, weird

 

**australia:** what was all that about

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** you really are blind chan

 

**australia:** what

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** sigh

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** im gonna go check on felix

 

**australia:** ,,,,,,,,,,,

 

**australia:** what


	3. heck yeck

\-------------------------------------------------------

_ [6:12pm] _

  
  
  


**i am NOT from nct:** im starting a petition

 

**i am NOT from nct:** #bangchanisblindasfuck2k18

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** thats not a petition its a statement but i agree

 

**australia:** oI

  
  
  


**_[emo fuck has named the chat #bangchanisblindasfuck2k18]_ **

  
  


**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** im not even entirely sure what this is in reference to but its true

 

**australia:** O I

 

**i am NOT in nct:** and felix is blind as fuck too good to know

 

**australia:** hAH

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** but,,, but mate

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i thought we were mates

 

**australia:** we are mates

 

**australia:** lets be blind as f*uck together felix

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** :’’’)

 

**i am NOT from nct:** i hate you both

 

**the baby:** romance is in the air tonight

 

**the baby:** if only you two werent so blind

 

**australia:** w h a t a r e t h e y t a l k i n g a b o u t

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i d o n t k n o w

 

**the baby:** a a a a a a a a a a  a aa aa a a a a a a a a aa aa

 

**mother woojin:** noW YOUVE UPSET THE BABY LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE FELIX 

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** I WASNT TRYING TO UPSET THE BABY

 

**the baby:** felix youre only like a few months older than me why am i a baby

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** s h u s h

 

**australia:** i would like to point out that i still have no idea whats going on

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** we know sweetie

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** anyway @chris when are we going on that maccas run

 

**australia:** uhh tomorrow?? brekkie???

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** heck yeck

 

**i am NOT from nct:** heck,,,,, yeck,,,,

 

**australia:** sounds good felix !!

 

**australia:** ily mate

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** ilyt mate

 

**the baby:** g e t  m a r r i e d

 

**jinnie:** shush jeongin dont rush them

 

**australia:** what

 

**australia:** what arent we rushing

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yeah what i dont get it

 

**jinnie:** i hate you both

  
  


\-------------------------------------------------------

_ [2:03am] _

  
  


**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** fellas is it gay to breathe

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** felix for fucks sake go to sleep how are you even alive

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** time isnt real minho

 

**emo fuck:** felix youre literally the gayest person ive ever met im pretty sure you cant get any gayer by breathing

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yeah but when youre breathing youre breathing in air that other dudes have already breathed

 

**australia:** breathing is gay culture

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** see chris always has my back

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** hes nice unlike you hets

 

**the baby:** whipped

 

**australia:** what

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** ummm how dARE you insult us like that felix

 

**i am NOT from nct:** yeah felix never call me /that/ again

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** you mean

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** a,,,, HET

 

**i am NOT from nct:** muuuuuuuuuum felix is bullying me

 

**mother woojin:** go the fuck to sleep

  
  


\-------------------------------------------------------

_ [6:48am] _

  
  


**the baby:** why can i hear felix chanting ‘maccas run’ 

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** ,,,,,,,,,,, what

 

**the baby:** i can hear him going “maccasrunmaccasrunmaccasrun” 

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** where even is he

 

**the baby:** because its felix im assuming hes Lightly Bouncing Like An Excited Child while hes waiting for chan

 

**i am NOT from nct:** an unsurprising development

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** you guys do know that im in this chat right

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** reading this

 

**the baby:** yep

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i mean,,,, i appreciate the honesty

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** and im just excited okay

 

**the baby:** w h i p p e d

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i like spending quality Aussie Time with my Aussie Friend jeongin, is that so wrong?

 

**australia:** a litTLE BIT OF FABULOUS IS THAT SO WRONG

 

**mother woojin:** why are you like this

 

**australia:** i was summoned

 

**australia:** also dont bully felix hes Cute

 

**australia:** hes so excited this is adorable wow ily felix

 

**the baby:** w h i p P E D

 

**jinnie:** did anyone else hear a Thud 

 

**emo fuck:** that would be felix

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** shUT UP CHANGBIN 

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** dont believe his emo lies chris

 

**emo fuck:** wow i cant believe im getting bullied

 

**emo fuck:** i thought we were bros felix

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i thought so too changbin, but youve been spreading lies about me

 

**emo fuck:** im literally standing behind you

 

**emo fuck:** i have been for the last like 10 minutes

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** shuT

 

**australia:** anyway felix are ya ready to go mate

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** im pretty sure hes been ready for like an hour

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** sure am chris :)

 

**emo fuck:** have fun on your date kids!!

 

**australia:** what lmao felix and i are friends

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yeah

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** friends

 

**emo fuck:** wikipedia.org/wiki/joke

 

**i am NOT from nct:** shit changbin thats the actual url

 

**emo fuck:** im dedicated unlike these fake bitches #exposed

  
  


**_[_ ** **miNOOOHHHH has removed emo fuck from the chat]**

 

**_[i am NOT from nct has added emo fuck to the chat]_ **

  
  


**emo fuck:** Wow, Minho, I thought you loved me.

 

**the baby:** are we going to ignore how Gay And Bitter felix just got

 

**australia:** okay bye guys !!

 

**the baby:** guess so


	4. the majestic (chang)bin chicken

\--------------------------------------------------

_[7:57am]_

 

**_#bangchanisblindasfuck2k18_ **

 

 **mother woojin:** i wonder how the kids are going on their date

 

 **jinnie:** woojin you’re not that much older than chan

 

 **mother woojin:** ,,,,,,,

 

 **mother woojin:** i wonder how the kids are going on their date

 

 **australia:** its going great !!

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

 **emo fuck:** so it is a date????

 

 **australia:** wait shit i didnt see the date part

 

 **australia:** its not

 

 **australia:** we are f r i e n d s

 

 **jinnie:** how did you not see the date part???

 

 **australia:** i dont know??????

 

 **australia:** so yeah its not a date but felix and i are having Fun Australia Time and its nice having quality alone time with him

 

 **the baby:** w  H I  P P E  D

 

 **australia:** why does he keep saying that

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh chan why are you like this

 

 **australia:** why am i like what

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

 **mother woojin:** loOK WHAT YOUVE DONE CHAN YOU BROKE THE CHILD

 

 **australia:** IM S O R R Y

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** WHY ARE WE YELLING

 

 **australia:** anyway felix is being cute and wants my attention so i gtg

 

 **the baby:** W H I P P E D

 

 **jinnie:** shush jeongin, we know

 

 **australia:** oI

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

\--------------------------------------------------

_[10:02am]_

 

**_#bangchanisblindasfuck2k18_ **

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** ayyy the boys are home from their date

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

 **mother woojin:** petition for minho to never say “ayyy” again

 

 **the baby:** im signing the fr*ck out of that

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** wow guys way to bully the gay boy this is homophobic

 

 **australia:** ,,,,,,,,, minho are you aware of the fact that no one in this group is straight

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** haha whatre ya talkin about chan i love Girl hahahahaha

 

 **emo fuck:** jisung you were ranting to me about “stupid cute minho and his stupid cute face” like 0.2 seconds ago

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** changbin dont exp0se me like this i love bo*bs

 

 **australia:** i read that as bobs

 

 **mother woojin:** stop bullying jisung guys he will come out when hes ready

 

 **jinnie:** why is woojin better at shading people than Literally All Of Us

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** anyway,,,,, jisung thinks im cute??

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** i think youre stupid

 

 **emo fuck:** he thinks youre cute

 

 **the baby:** i would like to inform everyone that hes squealing like a giddy twelve year old

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** i can back him up on that

 

 **jinnie:** are we going to talk about how felix hasnt said a thing since minho started this conversation with “the boys are home from their date” which is very Shady And Gay of him

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i was getting water

 

 **emo fuck:** hes been sitting on the floor in front of me and jisung since minho said the thing

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** shut up bin chicken i was getting water

 

 **australia:** i guess

 

 **australia:** you could call him

 

 **emo fuck:** oh no

 

 **australia:** changBIN CHICKEN

 

 **mother woojin:** how about we dont call him that

 

 **australia:** too late im changing his contact name to that in my phone

 

 **australia:** thank u for that setup felix ily

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** uhh ilyt

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** im going to bed

 

 **jinnie:** its 10am

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** time isnt real goodnight

 

 **jinnie:** itS 10AM

  


\--------------------------------------------------

_[10:31am]_

 

**_australia and australia 2 electric boogaloo_ **

 

 **australia:** hey felix

 

 **australia:** you okay?

 

 **australia:** youve been weird lately???

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** im fine

 

 **australia:** i worry about you felix

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** im fine chris

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** ive just been a bit tired lately

 

 **australia:** felix, just know you can always talk to me okay?

 

 **australia:** im always willing to listen to whatever you have to say

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** fuck that just makes everything worse

 

 **australia:** oh

 

 **australia:** im sorry

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** nonono wait YOU dont make everything worse

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** its just,,,,,,

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** fuck

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** im Gay Panicking hang on

 

 **australia:** no felix its okay

 

 **australia:** you dont need to panic

 

 **australia:** im sorry for whatever i did

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** chris you didnt do anything

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** hang on lemme take this to the other chat

 

\--------------------------------------------------

_[10:38am]_

 

**_#bangchanisblindasfuck2k18_ **

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** guys, i have something to say

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** oh no

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** okay

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** gimme a sec this is taking a while to type

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** wait

 

 **jinnie:** is he??

 

 **australia:** what

 

 **mother woojin:** nothing sweetie

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** chris bang, mate, will you be the rhonda to my ketut? the bunnings to my snags? the tinny to my charter boat?

 

 **emo fuck:** i dont know what that means but i think its romantic

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i love you mate, yes homo

 

 **australia:** felix

 

 **australia:** oh my god

 

 **australia:** that is the most felix way you couldve said that

 

 **australia:** what im getting at here is yes

 

 **australia:** yes felix

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:**!!!!!!!!

 

 **australia:**!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **the baby:** W H I P P E D

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** that mustve been quite the gay maccas run

 

\--------------------------------------------------

_[12:19pm]_

 

**_#bangchanisblindasfuck2k18_ **

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** i walk past felix and he's drawing a strange black and red blob

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** excuse you it's a woodpecker bird

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** 'woodpecker bird'

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** yes you fell for it

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** what

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** wooDPECKER BIRD

 

 **australia:** LIKES PECKING WOOD

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** why did you do this minho

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** BLUEBIRD'S A BIRD

 

 **australia:** THAT SINGS PRETTY GOOD

 

 **australia:** SPARROWS ARE A BIRD THAT ARE PRETTY COOL AY

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** BUT THE IBIS IS A BIRD THAT DRINKS BIN JUICE ALL DAY

 

 **australia:** changbin*

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** fuck yeah sorry

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** but changbin is a bird that drinks bin juice all day

 

**_[emo fuck has left the chat]_ **

 

**_[mother woojin has added emo fuck to the chat]_ **

 

 **australia:** so, felix, who’s your bias in stray kids?

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** Ibis.

 

 **emo fuck:** i hate you both

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** and stop lying felix we all know who your real bias is

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** youre right

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** its actually hyunjin

 

 **australia:** OI

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** just kidding ily chris <3333

 

 **australia:** ilyt <3333

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** oh fuck are they gonna be all coupley now

 

 **the baby:** they werent before????

  
  



	5. seungmin's best friend applications: OPEN

\-------------------------------------------------------------

_ [6:38pm] _

 

**_#bangchanisblindasfuck2k18_ **

  
  


**i am NOT from nct:** i

 

**emo fuck:** oh no

 

**i am NOT from nct:** i walk into the kitchen

 

**i am NOT from nct:** and, there he is

 

**i am NOT from nct:** the oblivious fuck himself

 

**australia:** heY I REALISED EVENTUALLY

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** you were literally /just/ telling me that you had no idea that i had any gay feelings towards you

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** like an hour after i confessed my love for you, you went up to me and said “so,,,,,, you like me???”

 

**australia:** thats still eventually, felix

 

**emo fuck:** i mean

 

**emo fuck:** hes technically not wrong

 

**i am NOT from nct:** ANYWAY

 

**i am NOT from nct:** so, i walk into the kitchen, and i just see him, bang chan, my close, dear friend

 

**i am NOT from nct:** sitting there

 

**i am NOT from nct:** and drinking gravy like its fucking water

 

**mother woojin:** jeongin we’re leaving this family

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** dont call us a family thats Weird

 

**i am NOT from nct:** felix your dumb boyfriend is drinking gravy rn why arent we talking about that

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** i tried to stop him i swear

 

**australia:** why sip tea when you can sip gravy

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** thERE ARE MANY REASONS WHY WE SIP TEA AS OPPOSED TO GRAVY, CHAN

 

**jinnie:** i

 

**jinnie:** i hate everyone and everything rn

 

**jinnie:** except seungmin

 

**jinnie:** hes nice

 

**the baby:** seungmin just died

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** hes lying hyunjin

 

**jinnie:** thats good

 

**jinnie:** id be quite sad if the one good thing in the world rn died

 

**the baby:** i think he just started crying what the he*k

 

**australia:** hek

 

**the baby:** fuck off christopher

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** pFT

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** hi so today my little brother pushed me and so im starting a kickstarter to put him down

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** the benefits of killing him would be i would get pushed way less

 

**the baby:** heY DONT BULLY ME

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** yOURE THE ONE BULLYING /ME/

 

**jinnie:** jeongin stop bullying seungmin he doesnt deserve this

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** :’))))

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** a true hero

 

**i am NOT from nct:** gay

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** says you

 

**i am NOT from nct:** excuse u seungmin i love Girl yes

 

**emo fuck:** earlier you were crying over minho and saying “have you SEEN his eyes changbin?? angelic” and “hes so talented and wonderful i could d i e” and “and just !! wow hes the most beautiful person in the world we dont deserve him aaaaaaa”

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** am i really crying in the club rn???

 

**i am NOT from nct:** changbin stop being mean

 

**australia:** i guess

 

**australia:** you could call him

 

**emo fuck:** Do Not.

 

**australia:** a changBITCH

 

**i am NOT from nct:** changbin thats your name in my phone now

 

**emo fuck:** :’’’(((((

 

**i am NOT from nct:** get fucked

 

**mother woojin:** are we going to talk about how soft jisung and minho are

 

**i am NOT from nct:** uhh no homo minho but ily youre great

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** but,,, but why not yes homo??? also ilyt

 

**i am NOT from nct:** fuck youve got me there

 

**emo fuck:** i can hear chan squealing 

 

**australia:** i am the biggest minsung shipper oh my g o d 

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** what the actual frick is a minsung

 

**australia:** take a guess, minho

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** o

 

**i am NOT from nct:** anyway

 

**i am NOT from nct:** i would like to clarify that i wasnt crying, i was sobbing

 

**emo fuck:** ah yes, because theres quite the dramatic difference between those two things

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** update: chris is still drinking the gravy

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** like,,, chris, ily,,,, but why

 

**australia:** you,,, you love me???

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** nah yeah

 

**australia:** :’))))

 

**australia:** ilyt felix

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** but,,, but i think he said no?? because he said no first??

 

**jinnie:** but i thought that the one they say second is the actual answer???

 

**the baby:** i thought they both mean no???

 

**jinnie:** can an australia please explain

 

**australia:** yeah nah

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** that doESNT HELP

  
  
  


\-------------------------------------------------------------

_ [11:56pm] _

 

**_#bangchanisblindasfuck2k18_ **

  
  


 

 

**the baby:** hEY HYUNJIN

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** JEONGIN DONT

 

**jinnie:** what

 

**the baby:** I HAVE TEA TO SPILL

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** NO HE DOESNT

 

**jinnie:** i’m so confused

 

**i am NOT from nct:** does this have anything to do with seungmins Big Gay Crush™

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** SJSKJSKSJK

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** I DONT HAVE A BIG GAY CRUSH™ 

 

**i am NOT from nct:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

**jinnie:** dont be mean to seungmin :(

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** hyunjin is my only true friend

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** the rest of yall are cancelled

 

**mother woojin:** :(

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** except for woojin

 

**mother woojin:** :)

 

**australia:** i would ask what about me but i was drinking gravy earlier so tbh id cancel myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short sksksks but i've had a lot going on lately with going back to school so i won't be able to write as much probably :(


	6. felix has tea

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

**_#bangchanisblindasfuck2k18_ **

  
  


**emo fuck:** help

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** no

 

 **emo fuck:** but,,, but why,, u-uwu

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** that

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** that is why

 

 **emo fuck:** jisung,,, bro

 

 **emo fuck:** blease help

  


**[shawn mendes whomst has named the chat seo changbin antis]**

  


**jinnie:** i second that notion

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** thanks for your support hyunjin

 

 **jinnie:** always bby

 

 **the baby:** seungmin what the fuck i mean frick

 

 **australia:** jeongin youre on thin fucking ice

 

 **australia:** wait

 

 **emo fuck:** why are we all ignoring my pain

 

 **the baby:** bcs seungmin is w h i p p e d

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** AM NOT

 

 **australia:** i think u mean

 

 **australia:** i am NOT

 

 **jinnie:** for the love of god someone kick him

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** im closest but i wont bcs im a nice loving bf uwu

 

 **miNOOOHHHH:** no uwuing in this household

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** UwU

 

 **emo fuck:** wow i cant believe no one will help me

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** gee i wonder why

 

 **australia:** why is no one bullying jisung his dn is two bad jokes

 

 **i am NOT from nct:** wow chan, im hurt

 

 **australia:** Good.

 

 **emo fuck:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

 **mother woojin:** sigh

 

 **australia:** [breakdances gently] whats wrong son?

 

 **emo fuck:** w o o j i n

 

 **mother woojin:** s i g h

 

 **shawn mendes whomst:** Suffer.

 

 **emo fuck:** begone demon

 

 **mother woojin:** whats wrong chilld

 

 **emo fuck:** [redacted] and [redacted]

 

 **mother woojin:** oH

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** lmao rip changbin

 

 **australia:** oi felix

 

 **australia:** is that

 

 **australia:** some tea

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** mayhaps

 

 **australia:** eyes emoji

 

 **australia 2 electric boogaloo:** eyes emoji

 

 **mother woojin:** shit this tea is hot

 

 **mother woojin:** please dont spill it itll stain the carpet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this sucks and is really short hhh but hey at least i updated?? i'm on holidays for two weeks now so i'll update as much as i can!!


	7. Hahaha love the song. Did the challenge with my bros Johnny and Haechan. It was really hot out but it was fun dancing on the streets hahaha -mark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really short i'm so sorry but uhh yeah hopefully i'll actually update this more uwu

**_\---------------------------------------------------------_ **

_[12:23pm]_

**_seo changbin antis_ **

  
  
  


**miNOOOHHHH:** howdy yall yeehaw

  
  


**_[shawn mendes whomst has removed miNOOOHHHH from the chat]_ **

  
  


**i am NOT from nct:** sigh why the fuck do i love him

 

**i am NOT from nct:** SHIT I MEANT TO SEND THAT TO CHANGBIN

 

**emo fuck:** HAH

 

**i am NOT from nct:** FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK DONT ADD HIM BACK

  
  


**_[mother woojin has added miNOOOHHHH to the chat]_ **

  
  


**i am NOT from nct:** woojin,, why do you hate me

 

**mother woojin:** i dont :(

 

**the baby:** stop being mean to woojin

 

**the baby:** hes the only nice person in this gc

 

**mother woojin:** i have raised you well, my son

 

**the baby:** i

 

**the baby:** nvm i take that back

 

**mother woojin:** thats fair

 

**australia:** can we blease talk about the fact that jisung just admitted his Big Gay Crush™ on minho

 

**i am NOT from nct:** uhh no bcs theres no crush to talk about uwu

 

**emo fuck:** jisung you even suck at lying through text how the fuck i mean heck

 

**i am NOT from nct:** n-no i dont

 

**jinnie:** you just stuttered through text

 

**i am NOT from nct:** w-what are you talking about hyunjin haha

 

**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** Hahaha love the song. Did the challenge with my bros Johnny and Haechan. It was really hot out but it was fun dancing on the streets hahaha -mark

 

**emo fuck:** blease no

  
  


**_[shawn mendes whomst has removed australia 2 electric boogaloo from the chat]_ **

  
  


**mother woojin:** why do you both just have,, the longest dns

  
  


**_[australia added australia 2 electric boogaloo to the chat]_ **

  
  


**australia 2 electric boogaloo:** wow why is chris the only person in this gc thats nice to me

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** why hasnt minho said anything since he got added back

 

**mother woojin:** i think i can hear him sobbing in his room

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** hahaha what are u talking abt woojin im just livin my life uwu

 

**the baby:** im in his room hes still sobbing

 

**miNOOOHHHH:** dont believe him hes a baby he doesnt know what anything is

 

**the baby:** this is slander

 

**emo fuck:** actually its libel

 

**the baby:** shut up bin chicken

 

**australia:** im so proud of my son :’)

 

**the baby:** thank u father

 

**i am NOT from nct:** no one ever call chan father again Blease

 

**the baby:** f a t h e r

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** Suffer, Jisung.

 

**i am NOT from nct:** b-blease

 

**the baby:**  f  a t  h e r

 

**jinnie:** make him stop hes scaring me :(

 

**shawn mendes whomst:** jeongin stop calling chan father youre upsetting hyunjin

 

**the baby:** W H I P P E D but okay 


End file.
